I've spent some time thinking about why it is so difficult to love those nearest to us - our families. I'd love to tell you I've come up with a five step plan for how to make your relationships better and more reflective of Christ, but I don't have a five step plan. I have a Savior. When it comes to embracing those closest to me, I pay attention to what the Bible says about how Jesus treated those around Him. And you want to know the one character quality that stands out the most to me when I read about how Jesus treated others?

Grace.

Time and time again, Jesus extended grace. With the woman at the well. With Peter after he denied Him. With the tax collector, and on the cross as Jesus proclaimed, "Forgive them. For they know not what they do." In a snap, He could have been off that cross, and yet He remained there for us - an act of perfect grace. And I've listed those based on memory. I can't imagine how many examples you'd come across, depicting grace if you conducted thorough research about Jesus' character.

Relationships are messy. There's no question about that. Throw sin in the mix and it creates a yeasty batch of conflict, anger, miscommunication, jealousy and bitterness, to name a few additional ingredients. So how are we to love those closest to us with a Christ-like attitude? My thoughts...grace. I think it's the first thing we need to add to the recipe of relationship. If we embrace a relationship with immediate grace, we give the relationship an opportunity to grow and transform into something more God-honoring and hopeful.

Grace is free, unmerited favor. Unmerited means we can do nothing to earn it. Favor means that we've been given a gift. Loving others is excruciatingly difficult sometimes. But when we are reminded of how God loved us and the way He granted us grace, we are equipped to grant grace to our loved ones through His Spirit. We can take a step back from the conflict or thorny issue, remembering the sin we've allowed ourselves to become ensnared in, and by doing this we open up the potential for genuine forgiveness.

Our families know our greatest vulnerabilities. There's no putting up a front for family. They know us. They've seen us in our pajamas, eating an entire carton of ice cream. They've seen us in our crabby times and our sick times. They're aware of the buttons to push when they want a certain reaction from us, and we know their buttons, too. There is no such thing as a grace button. It's never clear when you need to offer it or when it's called for, but it never hurts to extend it. So push yourself to offer grace. So much has been extended to us. Offering grace to family is the least we can do, and at the same time the most we can do to embrace them.

Wendy Miller’s work has been published in inspirational books, online magazines and on numerous websites. She is passionate about encouraging women through writing and speaking, and currently Wendy leads a small group of seniors from her church. Raising her three little girls, writing novels, creating craft projects, and hiking are other ways she enjoys spending her time. Feel free to visit her blog to peek inside the window of her thoughts as she actively pursues what it means to follow the Lord. Wendy's Website