On the back of a bookmark in my Bible I've written, "Let love for your fellow believers continue and be a fixed practice with you (never let it fail)" (Hebrews 13:1, AMP).  In parenthesis after "fellow believers" I wrote the names of my immediate family. This verse is a focal point for me as I begin each day. The Bible not only urges us to love others, but it also gives us plenty of direction as to what that love should look like.

In John 13 the Apostle John describes the final meal that Jesus had with His disciples before His crucifixion.  During this meal Jesus demonstrates His love through serving them.  As I look closer at this passage for keys to how I can love my family with Christ-like love, four things stand out: 1)  Love is often service.  2) Love is not showy.  3) Love serves even when it is undeserved.  4) Love multiplies itself.

Love is Service

John sets the scene in the Upper Room just before the Passover.  Jesus knows this is His final meal with those whom He loved, "to the last and highest degree"(13:1 AMP).  He could do anything in these last hours with them, and yet He chose to take on the role of a servant and to wash their feet.

I wonder what was happening in the disciples' hearts as the One who deserved worship knelt and cleaned the refuse from their feet. The same hands that fed multitudes, restored sight to the blind and raised the dead were now transferring their filth to the towel wrapped around His waist.  I'm sure it felt uncomfortable, maybe even embarrassing. After all, none of them had been willing to take on this humbling role.

If I were having my final meal with those nearest to my heart, I'm not sure serving them would be the first thing I would think to do with our time. Yet Jesus' emphasis on love as service is clear regardless of how much time I have left with my family.  As a parent, there are hundreds of opportunities each day to love my family in this manner.

Love Isn't Showy

Jesus could have had an audience of thousands as He humbled Himself and washed the disciples' feet.  He'd just been welcomed four days earlier with a spontaneous parade of palm branches in His honor.  Yet in lieu of accolades from the crowds, Jesus chose to give one last lesson about love to His disciples in private.

I often joke around with my friends that I let the house get really dirty before I clean so that my family can't help but notice the vast improvement!  I like my hard work to be acknowledged and praised.  Yet this passage challenges me to not make a show of my service; I should serve when the whole world isn't watching.

As a parent, I want to ensure my children know my actions aren't just a show for their friends or mine.  I need to serve them with as much love and patience at home as I would at the church potluck or when their friends are watching.  In other words, my motives need to be pure.

Love Serves Even When It Is Undeserved

Without saying a word of rebuke toward their unwillingness to serve, He simply gets up and serves them.  How many times have I said in a huff, "Do I have to do everything around here?!" and marched out of the house with one more bag of trash?  Jesus' gracious example challenges me to adjust my negative attitude and lovingly serve my family instead.

Not only does Jesus wash their feet, but He intentionally includes Judas who was about to betray Him unto death.  Jesus could have easily sent Judas away first and then washed their feet, but He didn't.  When I'm frustrated with someone, my tendency is to withhold the love and affection I'd normally shower on them. Yet Jesus clearly sets a standard to love regardless of how deserving I deem the receiver.

Love Multiplies Itself

After removing the filthy wet towel wrapped around His waist, Jesus challenges them to wash each other's feet (vs. 14, 15).  A few verses later Jesus said, "A new commandment I give you: Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another" (v. 34).   Jesus encourages them to multiply His love to them by passing it on to others.

As I serve my children I need to be conscious that I also teach them to lovingly serve others. If I don't encourage them to love others, I risk rearing a self-centered child who always looks to receive and never considers giving.  Sometimes teaching them to love others means taking them along with me to do Meals-On-Wheels in our community.  Other times it's talking to them about growing up to be a Dad (or Mom) who serves their family as we watch my husband take the trash to the curb.

Despite my great aspirations to let love be a "fixed practice" in my home, I often catch myself being snappy with my kids or sighing my way through the daily, mundane chores it takes to run a home.  At the end of the day I turn to another favorite quote that sits on my kitchen windowsill, "Beauty is not found in perfection, but in recovery."  This quote reminds me to seek forgiveness and strength in Christ to try again tomorrow as I aim to love my family with His Upper Room love.

Action Points

Serve Her: What would it do in your daughter's heart if you literally washed her feet? Perhaps this could be a birthday tradition where you not only celebrate her life, you commit to serving her as she matures into the young woman God has planned for her to become.

Don't Be Showy:

What is something that you could do this week that would really speak love to her?

Multiply Love - Discuss the following with your daughter:

1. Share about a time that someone served you in a really meaningful way. How did it impact you?
2. What part of Jesus' Upper Room Love for you is most challenging to receive and give (service, not showy, or undeserved)?
3. What is one way you can show love for a brother or sister this week through serving them?  Who is someone in your life that is hard to love (undeserving) but you feel nudged to serve anyway?

Sherry lives in South Dakota with her husband and three boys (5, 3, and 10 mos). She has worked for The Navigators for 13 years both at UW-Madison and now at SDSU. She and her husband direct the ministry work at the university. (She notes, "Mostly he directs and I wrangle our boys!") Their focus is on teaching students to be laborers for Christ for a lifetime through discipleship, Bible studies and evangelism training. She loves working with women on campus and training younger staff women that work with them. Writing is a growing passion for Sherry as she has been published in Focus on the Family and keeps a blog of their life and ministry (www.mylifeontheprairie.blogspot.com). While she doesn't have a lot of time for other hobbies, Sherry does enjoy camping, reading and napping!