An Open Letter to Churches in America Regarding Student Ministry Leaders

Want to know how you can keep that youth guy around? Here's a five-step action plan for all the list-makers and strategists out there.

5) Respect him. In other words, don't treat him like he's one of his students. He's a grown man and God's Chosen to shepherd the kids in your church and community, so give him the respect he's due. (1 Thessalonians 5:12-13) Don't belittle his calling just because God called him to work with students and not super-smart adults like you. And I say that as respectfully as possible, adults. (Note: One way to show him respect is through the title you give him. He's not directing traffic - he's providing spiritual care for a whole demographic of your church's population. So let's all collectively agree to retire the phrase "Youth Director," okay? Or you could stick with it and start calling your pastor the "Grown-Ups Director.")

4) Serve with him. Let him know you are eager to share in the biblical mandate to disciple the next generation (Titus 2:2-8). Don't shuffle him and your students off to their own room or even building and expect him to single-handedly ensure that each is truly discipled. That's not just his job. It's yours, too. Dig in deep with the students and experience life with them. See the needs for yourself firsthand, especially before telling him what the youth calendar should look like.

3) Get to know him. Maybe you don't get his ministry approach. Maybe you think he plays video games too much and has too much facial hair. But if you take the time to get to know the man behind that goatee, you'll find that he has a huge heart that's burning with a desire to glorify God and reach a generation that most have turned their back on. And once you see that, it'll be pretty hard not to love the guy who goes to battle every day on behalf of your kids. (1 John 4:7-12) If he's married, take the time to get to know his wife, too. Chances are that she's not half bad either.

2) Listen to him. He has more insight than you probably give him credit for. Give him the opportunity to have a voice in your church that has influence outside the walls of the student ministry. His ministry is probably the most creative one happening in your church right now, so why not channel some of that creativity into other areas? He probably hasn't been around the ministry block long enough to be jaded yet, and he can hold up the mirror to your face when you utter ministry death-knell phrases like, "But it's always been done this way." And trust me, we need someone to help us look at ourselves a little harder when we start saying things like that. (1 Thessalonians 2:13)

1) Stand with him (otherwise known as "don't fire him"). The tenure of student ministers is growing shorter and shorter, but that's not the result of our generation's "nomadic" spirit. Trust me, we don't get an itch to uproot our families and move every 18 months. Most of us get a little help from the church leadership in making that decision. You see, in the interview process, everyone puts their best face on, but the masks come off when the real ministry starts happening. And in the light of day, there's a lot of ugly stuff going down in today's churches. But rather than confront it, it seems easier to send the new guy packin'. 

Your student minister is going to make mistakes. He is human after all. But the truth is so are you and every person at your church. So what if we did something drastic and tried to get to the root cause of misunderstandings? What if we strived for biblical reconciliation? What if we stopped seeing that guy as a paycheck recipient funded by "our" tithe dollars and started seeing him as a person? And in the event that everyone still deems it best to part ways, do so with dignity. Honor the time he invested in your students and your community and lovingly send him onward in ministry. Be a blessing to his family financially, not out of a sense of obligation but out of a sense of compassion and gratitude. Speak well of him to others in your community who are watching and listening (James 3:9-12) or sow the seeds of slander and watch what fruit it bears. You see, word travels fast, and your actions just might make the next youth guy think twice before jumping into ministry with you. And it'll probably keep those lost and searching people from darkening your church doors, too. But if that's what you're going for, disregard everything you just read and proceed as planned.

After all, those youth guys are expendable anyway, right?

(P.S. All of this applies to your girls minister, too. Minus the facial hair...hopefully.)