"The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." - Zephaniah 3:17

Surrounded by so many, yet I feel so alone. Ever been there? I have. I am now. I am at a place in my life where I am lonely. For a while, I have been too ashamed to say that.  Christians aren't supposed to be lonely - are they?  I felt that to say I am lonely means that I am not trusting God to be what I need and take care of me.  I felt guilty for feeling alone.

However, truth be told, I am lonely. I am at a place where the supports that I have known have deteriorated. The people I have counted on are no longer there. I hurt deeply and find myself feeling so alone at times. I look for someone to tell me it is going to be okay and often find no one. It is a tough place to be, but for now it is my reality.  And the tears come easy. I have struggled with being able to admit the loneliness I feel, but I recognize it is just being honest to say that I am lonely.

I have realized that the key is to not get stuck in the feeling of loneliness, but to embrace the fact that God still has a plan. No matter where you are or what you are facing, God has a plan.  And while right now it may appear to be a lonely place that you want to run far away from, God is in it with you. He wants to reach you, teach you, and be your everything in this time...just as he has been for me.

To seek God in the midst of loneliness can be difficult. It is hard to even have the discipline and desire to actually spend time with God when you feel so sad. But I realize that God understands the way I feel. He understands when I am overwhelmed with feeling alone and can't even pray...or when all I can mutter is, "Lord help me, I hurt...I feel so alone...I need you." He sees and knows my heart.  He sees and knows my pain.

I believe that God honors the times when we feel so bad, so lonely, and are honest and real with him about it.  He knows already, yet I think the doors are opened to really receive his comfort when we acknowledge honestly with Him how we feel.

At times this may even look like anger...and blaming God. But God can take it. He is God.  You don't have to pretend that you have it all together. Recently, I have sat before the Lord and cried and yelled at Him that I don't understand and don't see His plan. And you know, that is okay. God knows my heart. And each time He leads me back to the truth of His word. And every time he finds a way to penetrate my heart and speak to me...sometimes through a song...sometimes through words from a friend...sometimes through something I read...but somehow, someway, He always breaks through and speaks comfort and healing to me.

So now, I no longer run from loneliness. I embrace that it is my reality for a season, and I run to my Savior to see me through the dark moments of sadness that come with it.  I cling to the truth of scripture.

• Psalms 46:10a - "Be still and know that I am with you."
• Psalms 34:18 - "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed   in spirit."
• Exodus 14:14 - "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."
• 2 Timothy 4:16-17a - "At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me.  May it not be held against them.  But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength."

Now, do the verses and the knowledge that God is with me mean that the loneliness is gone? No, not at all. I still feel it.  It is still here even now...some days more than others.  But it means that I have hope.  I have hope that this is for a season and that God will see me through.  I have hope that He will provide my every need.  I have hope that somewhere hidden in the pain and loneliness, God still has a plan.

And when all else fails, and I am overwhelmed by my emotions and loneliness, I cling to Zephaniah 3:17, "The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."  God delights in me even now.  And He, the God of the universe, sings over me...even now.  How awesome is our God who loves us and rejoices over us even when everything around us has fallen apart.

Remember, God sees the BIG picture...He has read the WHOLE book...we just see this moment and this page of the journey.  Continue to look to Him and He will comfort you, guide your every step, and bring you out of this lonely time stronger than before.

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